stars and strripes

We had a fantastic 4th of july! Jared of course had to work but was able to at least come for the first part of the family festivities. My dad and mom put on a wonderful bbq. My dad bbq ribs that were amazing!! I am weird and have a really hard time eating meat off of a bone. But these ribs were so yummy! The meat was just falling off. I made paula deans home made macaroni and cheese which turned out great too!
Connnor loves all of his aunts and uncles and cousins, so he was so happy that Katie and Ryan, Steph and Brandon and his cousin Ella were all part of the day too. After we ate we all went swimming and than hung out til it was time for the fireworks. It worked out so great because my parents live close enough to where they shoot off the fireworks that we only had to drive 5 minutes to a parking lot to have a PERFECT view!
Connor LOVED every second of the fireworks. We had the music going on in the car and he just watched in amazement. As soon as it was over he asked for them to start again. To bad he'll have to wait a whole year!

too much

So, too much has gone on to actually get caught up on my blog so here goes another recap post of life. Summer has been great so far. Its so nice having Jared home during the day with us. I was getting pretty burnt out on Jared leaving at 7:00am and not getting home til midnight. Hopefully Jared is going to be getting a promotion at work so he wont have to be going back to his morning job after summer!!!
The highlight of Connor's life right now is swimming. He loves it and we have almost been everyday for the past month. Are pool is heated so even before we had this hot summer weather we were already going to the pool. He is really a good little swimmer and I have to bribe him when its time to get. he just got really good at jumping in and going under the water.
We have been making good use of are sea world passes and having a lot of fun. We have been going to the free movies at the krikorian on Tuesday mornings. It gets pretty crowded but Connor loves to go to the movie and who can really complain about free.
Im still dieting away. I have lost 52 lbs now. It's so weird how the brain works. back in January when I started this I would have been thrilled with the thought of losing 52 lbs. Now that i've done that it still doesnt feel like enough. Which brings me to my problem. When is enough enough??? I have been dwelling on this a lot lately, when will I be happy with where im at. I keep saying in 5 more lbs all be done but than once those are off I wont 5 more off. I feel like strictly from a height and weight perspective I should still lose 10 more. Blah Blah Blah. Enough about that. I am really proud of myself.
Life is good and I am so blessed.

MIKEY

I really can't think about it all that long before I get to sad and start crying, but this boy just graduated high school and is leaving on a mission.
He will be serving a mission for the church in Kiev Ukraine. Mikey is going to be the best missionary the Ukraine has ever had. I think its safe to say that I am his biggest fan so that entitles me to get to brag. At his graduation he received an award for having a 4.0 every semester for all 4 years of high school. This boy can do no wrong!

Con Man

When I went to go see Emily's new baby, Jared took Connor to go see Kung Fu Panda 2. Connor loves going to the movies so its the perfect date for the 2 of them. This is a picture of them before the left.
This is just a funny picture that reminds me everyday that Connor gets whatever he wants. Who wouldn't want 6 different kinds of donuts all at the same time. He created the sampler platter.
Connor got a drum for his birthday and he rocks out on it. My poor downstairs neighbors hate me im sure.

Baby Boy Taylor

My sister Emily gave birth to the sweetest baby boy on Friday night. I would tell you his name but they are still undecided. Stephanie, Brandon me and Mikey went up to the hospital last night to see the baby and he is so snuggly. Jared and Connor were going to come too, but kids under 12 had to be siblings so I got to go childless and snuggle a newborn baby. I know tough night. It almost gave me baby pains. A lady at church today did a huge guilt trip on me on how im being so selfish and not having a baby now. People really need to mind there own business. I know how old Connor is and I have it under control.
Emily was a total rockstar and sense this was baby number 6 her labor went so fast that she didn't have time to get an epuderial so it was all natural. Not even pain meds in her IV. Her and the baby are doing great and were all just waiting in anticipation to know this little guys name.

FAMILY

So I posted all of are family pictures on Facebook but here are a few of my favorites.

Mothers day...

I had the best mothers day and was completely spoiled by my boys. I love being a mom and as much as I complain and get grumpy, it has really been the most amazing 3 years of my life. On Saturday we went out on a girls night/almost having a baby/mothers day date with my mom and 3 of my sisters. My sister Emily is almost due with baby number 6. She is literally supermom and she handles her 5 almost 6 kids better than I handle my 1. She is just like my mom and nothing stresses her out. Or at least she is a great faker. SO we wanted to take her out before the baby came and we figured we could count it as a mother's day date with are mom too. I have no words for how amazing my mom is. There's no one better in the world!! Enough said:)
We went to souplantation and than went and saw Something Borrowed, which was super cute and I highly recommend it. Here are a few pictures because really I know that's all people really care about.
We all laughed really hard when we saw how this picture turned out, because we all really think we look good it. THe funny thing is that a ridiculously good looking waiter took it for us so we all did are best job to smile good for him.
This is what my boys got me: a box of see's, a macys giftcard so I can go get my MAC makeup and my special present was Von Zipper sunglasses that Jared got me.
Later that day on Sunday we went over to my Uncle's house because we all chipped in and got my Grandma an Ipad. I know most grandmas aren't cool enough for an Ipad but mine is and she was so excited when she opened it up. This picture is of Connor and my cousin Toby. They sat like this outside for so long together. Toby is my cousin and we were best friends growing up and were even in a spy club together. He is so sweet with Connor and I thought it was so cute them sitting and talking about life together.

Friday

so I am strangely addicted to Target. Not just any Target, but a specific one. People just don't understand that there is a difference between Targets until they come to mine. I can call it mine because I pretty much am on a first name basis with most of the employees and it pretty much feels like home when I go there. They have everything you could possibly need in life including all my grocery items I need for the week too. I would say on average I go there 3 maybe 4 times a week.
Its always a good visit to Target when Jared can come too. He will always just take Connor to the toys and than that way I can shop in heavenly target peace. Well Today after I was all done getting everything we needed I went to find the boys and found this
Jared is such a sweet dada and I just couldn't resist not taking a picture.

Thursday

Just got home from a date with the hubster to find my house perfectly clean and Connor snoozen away in the room. I say the room because he still of course sleeps in my bed. But that is beyond the point. Nothing is better than coming home to that. Steph and Blandon, as Connor calls him, ROCK MY WORLD!! They babysit Connor tonight so that JAred could take me on a mothers day date sense he has to work all weekend. So here are a few pictures of my boy from tonight all clean and ready for bed and than a picture of me and Jared from dinner. If we look exhausted in the picture its because we are. I got up at 6:15 this morning and between preschool, Will, Connor, going down to the temple to get new Gs, and keeping the house picked up and some what sane I am tired. I don't have Will on Fridays so I am really hoping Connor is going to possibly sleep in til 7:00 tomorrow.

Wednesday

I know worst blogger of the world... Every time I blog its always just an update of what has gone on the past month or so, instead of an actual journal of important things that I never want to forget. So I am motivated again to start documenting LIFE. The good the bad and everything in between. So instead of doing a recap of the month of April I just want to start with today. Today has been a good normal day. Connor is in a pre school group and tomorrow is my day to be in charge. We highlight a letter of the week and kind of base all the activities off of that. The letter is "H" tomorrow so I have been consumed with trying to creatively incorporate H into 2 hours of fun and education for six 3 and 4 olds. On top of that Will (the little boy I babysit) is at the age were he is in to EVERYTHING!!! So as soon as I get started on something I have to stop and see what Will has gotten himself into.
Connor today has been pretty good. Typical day for him. Stephanie was over today and we both kind of laughed at how unique Connor is. First off his hair. I love his curls more than anything, but when he wakes up in the morning he has CRAZY hair. All he needs is to stick a comb in it and he would be set. Secondly he is oddly polite. I don't think I am an impolite person but I definitely could work on that. Connor however, says no thank you all the time, please mama and oops a daisy at least 15 times a day. I really don't know where he picked it up. Another thing is he usually calls me babe. Jared has always called me babe and Connor has caught on and now typically refers to me as "my babe." He has already had 2 baths today just because he loves them. He hates to be dirty and doesn't really like it when other kids are dirty either.
I guess I should update everyone on my weight loss. It has consumed my whole life for the past 3 months but I am really proud as well. As of Saturday I have lost 42 lbs. I am so proud but really I have a hard time with it all. I worry if I actually look like I've lost 42 lbs. I stress that so many people have noticed that I CANT gain the weight back. I am trying so hard to just enjoy what I have accomplished and really make this a life style change. People have asked me how I lost it all and honestly I had to break up with food. I love food. But the only way I was ever going to have success was if I broke up with food. I have about 10 more lbs to go until I hit my goal weight. It was liberating to clean out my closet and get rid of everything that was too big. I am slowly rebuilding up my wardrobe and trying to rebuild up my self esteem.
We are getting family pictures taken next Saturday so I guess that's when I will post a picture of how I am looking. But even that gives me anxiety. Here's a few pictures because I know a post without pictures is just boring. The first two are in case we aren't facebook friends and you didn't see the adorable pictures Breanne took of Connor. We love Breanne and you should too. Check out her Blog she is amazing breannelarsonphotography.blogspot.com

My boys at Sea World taking a break. Jared takes Connor to sea worls at least twice a month
Connor loves two things helping me cook and pancakes so these are from tonight him making his pancakes for dinner

This is the only good birthday picture I have but here is Connor and Luke twin cousins on there birthday

Connor B....

I feel like time is just flying by and I can't believe that next month my sweet boy will be 3!!! Just tonight I went to Target to get all his school supplies for a little preschool group he is going to be in. Connor challenges me all the time and it's crazy how fast he picks things up. I am very proud to say that he is potty trained!!! No thanks to me, he completely potty trained himself. I didn't even want to potty train yet but he really left me know choice. Connor is talking up a storm which is the biggest relief. Up until about 3 months ago I was so concerned with his delay in speech. I know you're not suppose to compare kids but its hard not to notice all the other kids his age talking in sentences and him not. But all that is behind us and he is totally caught up. He is a joy and a love and the best snuggler in the world. I would know because he still is sleeping in my bed every night.
Now onto me, I am still dieting away and am proud to say that I weigh 162 which would put me at 25 pounds lost!!! I'm still watching Will monday thru thursday and that is definitely keeping me very busy. Still to scared to have another baby myself but I'm really working on some kind of a time line to start trying. Jared really wants to have another baby now, but it's me holding it up. Enjoy some cute pictures of my boy!
I

motivation.....

So I bought a pair of Jeans a month or so before I found out I got pregnant with Connor. When I bought them they fit but I had the intention of losing a few pounds to make them fit perfect. Well that never happened and than I got pregnant, so those AMAZING jeans have been staring me down for years now.
When I started this diet those were the goal jeans. They didn't even come close to fitting. I am happy to say that I can get them on and button them. Now I'm not saying they look good at all in fact it looks like a chubby girl trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans. But none the less they button!!!! Which means more than losing weight I can actually start to really see changes in my waist size! So here we go ready to start another week of this. I feel more motivated than ever!

Dieting.....

So this Last Monday marked 4 weeks that I have been dieting. I just got to the point where I was so unhappy with how I looked that I felt desperate. Not that I think appearance is everything but I do want to be happy and have some pride when it comes to my weight. I have never been skinny in my life and that's fine I don't really care if I am nor do I want to be. I LOVE food. There in lies the problem. I'm not an emotional eater or stressed out eater, I'm just an eater.
About 7 years ago my Uncle Larry started a biggest loser club and I joined and ended up winning. I started at about the same weight as I started this time and my goal weight is pretty close to where I ended last time. I was able to keep that weight off and even lose a little bit more before I got married. I kept that weight off all the way up until I got pregnant. From than on I just could never get the weight off. Getting back into my pre pregnancy clothes was just a joke. But Like I said 1 month I ago I had a day where my mind was just finally in the right place to do it.
My first thought was medi fast and after discovering how disgusting the food was and how extremely expensive it was I switched plans and am doing slim fast. I am only weighing myself every two weeks because I tend to get a little crazy with the scale and weighing myself like 20 times a day. So I threw the scale in the trash can and I only weight myself at my moms.
To me I think its funny when people freak out about telling how much they weigh. Its just a number and really who the heck cares??? So for me 4 weeks ago my starting weight was 187.4 and now 4 weeks later I am 168!!! I am really really proud of myself.
So here"s to another 2 weeks and my goal is to either be out of the 160 or really close.